What’s wrong with being a people pleaser? I love treating others as I would like to be treated. But if people pleasing is motivated by fear and/or a need for others to like and validate me, then I am coming from the wrong place. There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, but it should be about the joy of giving, not a sacrifice that is motivated by the need to get.
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.3.14 March 3, 2014
1. The middle way is like being in the world but not of it. We are no longer deceived by any of it. We no longer feel threatened, defensive or fearful. We do not judge or give meaning to the seeming drama. We may appear to participate but we are not concerned about results. We smile a lot more, and our Light blesses the world. Yet, all the while, absolutely nothing disturbs our peace.
2. What’s wrong with being a people pleaser? I love treating others as I would like to be treated. But IF people pleasing is motivated by fear and/or a need for others to like and validate us, then we’re coming from the wrong place. There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, but it should be Joyful and about giving (giving and receiving being the same, ie feels the same), not a sacrifice that is about giving to getting. (note to self, if giving feels better than getting then I need to look at my motives… if I don’t like what I am getting, I must look at what I am giving, and it might not be in the same area, I could be giving “shit” to someone in my mind and then see someone giving ME “shit” later in the day… Everything I give, I give to myself)
3. Opening the Door to Love: Don’t worry about how long your relationship is going to last. Just give it your best energy and attention. Experience as much joy as you can with your partner. Learn as much as you can from the painful times. Do your best to be honest and clear with each other. Stretch your comfort zones a little. Be flexible and constructive. Be the first to yield and to bless. Give without worrying about what you are going to get back.
Don’t be full of pride, but admit your faults and mistakes. Don’t be ashamed or apologetic. Have the courage to be yourself. You will never be perfect in your ability to give or receive love. Don’t try to be. Each day, just be willing to learn something about yourself and your partner. That way, little by little, the door to love will continue to open. ~ Paul Ferrini
4. Connecting to Love: When you enter a beautiful forest, you do not say “only the birch trees are beautiful” or “the maples are better than the oaks.” You admire the beauty and diversity of all the trees in the forest. People who think their religion is better than other religions are missing the beauty of diversity. Each religion has a unique character that enables it to speak to certain people and not to others. If we don’t respect other traditions, we will weaken our own. Our narrowness and prejudice will be obvious to all who listen to us. Only by treating people of other faiths with love and acceptance will we give our tradition a good name. Indeed, only by connecting to the core teaching of Love within our tradition can we pass that teaching on to our children. A barren tree will make no fruit. A religion that does not help its followers connect to love will not prosper. ~ Paul Ferrini