We all say “we WANT change” but most of us really only want the “situation” or the “other person” to change. But if it is actually US that must change, it becomes a different matter all together. So how do we do that??? It starts with our thinking/thoughts, soon our feelings will follow and then our behaviors will soon follow also. The Work of Byron Katie will help, as does many other methods and modalities. Any Question?? Feel free to contact me…
Thought for Today 6.25.14 June 25, 2014
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 5.19.14 May 19, 2014
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. ~ Eckhart Tolle
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.24.14 March 24, 2014
1. Today We Affirm: I am awakening to the Great Rays infusing me with Wisdom, Guidance and Grace in all things. This is a day of joyful ease as I open to receive rather than to conquer, control or get. Instead, I allow and accept. Invisible hands reach out to guide and direct me. Opportunities present themselves in perfect timing & ways. My thoughts turn in gentle happy directions. The Universe is friendly and loving.
My world is happy and Life is good. As I align myself with Spirit, miracles light the path before me and I walk one Graceful step at a time. I forgive the past and release all grievances as I focus my attention on all the gifts of today. I am filled with the Light of the Great Rays which illumine my world and draw to me all that is for the highest good of all concerned. ~ Jacob Glass
2. Who has not loved and then experienced the pain of seeming to have lost that love, or of not being loved in return? Many learn to want nothing more to do with love. This is what the ego would have you learn, for if you get too close to love it would shine its’ separate little existence away. Listen not to the insanity of fear. Go forth and fearlessly extend the Love that you are. And if that separate little you is consumed in loves’ fire, then so be it.
3. When any two come together to dance in the Joy of sharing the Love that each already has and is, then eternity is found in the moment (this Holy Instant). It is not about making plans for a happy ever after. This eternal Holy Instant is our happy ever after.
4. Love of Self is important and here is a Byron Katie “share” on “I Really Should Be Thinner”
Not all you wonderful readers have had the privilege of hearing some of my beliefs about cellulite, wrinkles, aching knees, loose skin or gas. Doh! So unspiritual! So unenlightened! So superficial, ridiculous, silly, petty, childish, and stupid!
What…me? I would NEVER have a thought about such trivial occurrences as these. I would never have stressful beliefs about thinness or jiggling body parts.
It only used to run my whole life practically, starting around age 14. And occasionally these kinds of thoughts pop back by for a visit.
I needed to be thinner, smoother, less bumpy, tighter, more muscular, stronger, defined, angular. And never smell bad, either.
A wonderful inquirer reminded me the other day that many people walk around thinking that they need to be thinner, several times a day or more, and that it is very stressful.
It’s almost as if we believe it would suck if we didn’t have the thought that something needs to change. Because then, we’d be wallowing in a pile of passivity, non-motivation, and apathy. Resigned, not trying. Never getting there. And fat. Or certainly not thin enough.
Pain Makes Gain. Right? I feel pain when I look in the mirror, or I feel stuffed after a meal and nauseated, or I have a god-awful hangover…and this pain slaps me around and makes me want to wake up and do something different. That pain gives me motivation to CHANGE…..right?
Well, have you noticed how many times you’ve thought mean, nasty, ugly thoughts about yourself and your condition or situation? But no change happened?
If it WORKED to be self-critical, then it seems like it would have gotten you skinny by now, or sober, or successful, or rich.
There is another way. And it’s not “positive thinking” either. Because that would just be a fakey, rah-rah, cheerleading sort of approach which still assumes that you need to be pumped up and LOVE yourself to get somewhere. To get thin.
The greatest doorway to freedom for me has been, instead of condemning myself to long-term punishment, to look with depth at what I am really thinking repeatedly and finding out what is going on in those moments.
This is gettin’ down and dirty with the ugly, immature, stupid beliefs.
The belief “I should be thinner” can be mildly annoying or really sickeningly painful and very, very old.
Let’s look at it. First of all, can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES YES YES!! Screams from the balcony, the stadium, your family, your mirror, your grandparents, all the way from Hollywood! OMG of COURSE you should be thinner, are you kidding me?!!
Really ask again. I mean, in the big scheme of things beyond all this, can you know without a doubt that right now you should be thinner? You may still answer yes. That’s good….you thought about it for real, instead of just assuming it’s true.
You see how you react when you believe this thought: irritable, you make dieting plans, you despair of dieting plans, you try to ignore the thought, you hate yourself, you’re disgusted, you try to forget about it, you say “it’s not THAT bad”, you consider yourself superficial, you get tired just thinking about what you would have to do to get there. Starve and exert more energy.
And then…who would you be without the thought in your mind at all? Like other parts of the day when you’re not even thinking about it? Maybe you would notice that there are some other disturbing thoughts present. Some big ones that feel a little more foreboding.
You might notice that you could ask yourself a little more deeply WHY you should be thinner. I mean, what’s the problem here?
I should be thinner because then…WHY? My lover will stay with me, my spouse will never leave me, my friends will admire me, my boss and co-workers will be amazed by me, everyone will be attracted to me, my health will be superb, I won’t have “x” disease, I will feel fabulous, I will get more sex, I will have more energy, I will be more successful, I will make more money, I will be more secure, I will look stronger and younger which means people will find me appealing, I will stop having to think about this. Ever.
Phew. That’s a lot to put on thinness.
When we turn the thought around it becomes: my THINKING should be thinner….I mean really. I’ve believed that thinness meant so very much, the thinking has been thick and profuse and chaotic and fast. Yes, my thinking should slow down, relax and thin itself out.
Another turnaround is: I should NOT be thinner, I should be just the size I am. What if you allowed everything to be about your body, right now? What if you closed your eyes and just felt this body, and treated it kindly, without looking at it or caring how it turned out? Isn’t that what we all really want? Total freedom?
“I once worked with a woman in Jerusalem. Her religion was ‘I should have thin thighs’; she thought that’s what would give her what she wanted in life. She was the cutest! And she just wasn’t willing to do The Work; she couldn’t go inside for an honest answer, because she was terrified that if she answered honestly, she’d end up with fat thighs. She thought she needed fear as a motivation to exercise and eat right. It was obvious she preferred thin thighs to freedom.”~Byron Katie
When I began to realize that I don’t, in fact, actually care if I am thin or fat or round or sharp-edged…and what I really really want is the truth….then I became free to live in peace. To not grab for things when I’m not hungry (that isn’t the truth) and not force myself NOT to eat when I AM hungry (that isn’t the truth).
Simply being gentle with myself, moment to moment, at meals, with food, eating, tasting, smelling, hunger, fullness, slowing down. Not panicking or judging it as wrong. Waiting, breathing. Questioning other painful, difficult beliefs. Knowing I can “live” through any troubling or strong emotion.
I discovered what I used to believe thinness was going to bring me: love, joy, fun, pleasure, admiration, approval. Only all of these, already here. For myself. Whatever the weight.
The wonderful news is: you don’t have to be in 100% all-out full blown joy, love, pleasure and approval ALL THE TIME to be free from the burden of thinking about your weight.
All you need is a tiny drop of inquiry, willingness to drop your religion about the body and its appearance, and you will gently wake up.
That mundane, stupid, ridiculous series of beliefs about thinness that I had for years and years? They were my path to freedom.
“When they believe their thoughts, people divide reality into opposites. They think that only certain things are beautiful. But to a clear mind, everything in the world is beautiful in its own way.” ~ Byron Katie
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.12.14 March 13, 2014
1. Miserable people focus on the things they hate about their life. Happy people focus on the things they love about their life. ~ Tom Ziglar
2. Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes. ~ Alan Watts
3. “Everyone knows that seasons change; it’s unavoidably obvious. But for some reason, everyone tries to avoid the fact that people do too.” ~ unknown
4. When I find myself defending an idea or belief there is a good chance it is very weak.
5. “Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~ Unknown
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.4.14 March 4, 2014
1. Scarcity: The experience of scarcity (or any other thought of suffering) is not God punishing you. It is you showing yourself
a belief that needs to be corrected. (a false belief asking to be healed)
2. “Your partner is your mirror. Except for the way you perceive him, he doesn’t even exist for you. He is who you see he is, and ultimately it’s just you again, thinking. It’s just you, over and over and over and over, and in this way you remain blind to yourself and feel justified and lost. To think that your partner is anything but a mirror of you is painful. You don’t see your partner; you just see what you believe about him. So when you see him as flawed in any way, you can be sure that that’s where your own flaw is. The flaws have to be yours, because you’re the one projecting them.” ~ Byron Katie
3. About 1,000 times a day it is good to ask yourself, “Do I want the consequences of what I am currently thinking & believing?” Sow & reap, reap and Sow.
4. Let’s remember to educate our children to be Happy more than “rich”, so that they can know the value of things, not the price.
Thoughts and Quotes for Today 2.3.14 February 3, 2014
1. The greatest enemy, whom with we most often struggle, is our own thinking.
2. If we want change, we must be willing to be uncomfortable.
3. Messages from Spirit: Don’t be surprised if Spirit addresses you when you get quiet. It would be more surprising if you were not addressed. Since Spirit doesn’t usually get many opportunities to get your attention, it usually takes advantage of the opportunities it gets. Messages from the Spirit are uplifting, inspiring, centering, encouraging. They do not complicate or confuse us, but simplify our lives and make straight our path. They make it easier for us to love ourselves and others. ~ Paul Ferrini
4. “The more you struggle to live, the less you live. Give up the notion that you must be sure of what you are doing. Instead, surrender to what is real within you, for that alone is sure….you are above everything distressing.” ~ Baruch Spinoza