My Heart is at ease knowing that what is meant FOR me will never miss me, and that which misses me was never meant FOR me…
My Heart is at ease knowing that what is meant FOR me will never miss me, and that which misses me was never meant FOR me…
You suppose you are the trouble … But you are the cure. You suppose that you are the lock on the door … But you are the key that opens it. It’s too bad that you want to be someone else… You don’t see your own face, your own beauty. Yet, no face is more beautiful … Than yours… ~ Rumi
When we open our eyes this morning we can remember to also open our mind, heart and arms too. Being open makes for easier, more joyful, more productive and more exciting days. And if we choose, that’s the kind of day that waits.
Walking through Closed Doors:
Even if you don’t know why a door is closed, at least respect the fact that it is closed and don’t struggle with the doorknob.
If the door was open, you would know it. Wanting it to be open does not make it open.
Much of the pain in your life happens when you attempt to walk through closed doors or try to put square pegs into round holes.
You try to hold onto someone who is ready to go, or you try to get somebody to do something before s/he is ready.
Instead of accepting what is and working with it, you interfere with it and try to manipulate it to meet your perceived needs.
Obviously, this doesn’t work. It just creates strife for yourself and others. ~ Paul Ferrini
THE HEALING OF JEALOUSY
Here’s something that may be hard to hear: Jealousy is never about the other person, it’s always about YOU- YOUR feelings of being ignored, unappreciated, unseen and unloved, and underneath all of that, your frustrated desire to control others – what they do, what they want, how they are received, who loves them – and ultimately, your desire to control the universe.
Ouch. This is strong medicine. Jealousy as the attempted insurrection of the separate self against its greatest threat, unconditional love.
Admit it: Someone else is getting all the attention, the love, the rewards, the success, the glory, and you are left out in the cold, isolated, forgotten, a failure – not special at all. Jealousy sees the other as some kind of ‘rival’, an ‘enemy’, a ‘threat’ to your path. It sees life as a giant competition and joy as a scarce commodity. And once you go down that path, there are a million rivals, a million blocks to joy…
Jealousy makes your peace dependent upon someone or something else! It says, “I can’t be at peace as long as they are …” (Fill in the blank). You give the other power over you, and then resent them for taking that power – which they never did! You gave it to them with your attention.
Jealousy can easily strike when you are feeling uncertain, insecure, doubtful about your own path. To avoid facing your own pain, being honest about your own insecurities, you bring focus away from yourself, onto the other, and begin comparing and contrasting and mentally fighting. You want what they seem to have. “Why isn’t THAT happening to ME?” you ask. It’s all about me. Me me me. Me me me me me me. The ego thrives on comparison and power struggles.
Where and when can healing begin? The only place and time there is. Here, Now.
Begin by turning towards your only place of power: the present moment. Acknowledge your experience, deeply. Feel the jealousy burning, aching, throbbing, in your neck, chest, stomach. Feel the power that’s there, the volcanic power of life itself, the power that creates universes. Take away the word/label/concept ‘jealousy’ and feel directly the raw sensations without judgement and without trying to make them ‘better’. Feel the aliveness. Contact your own uncertainty, doubt, feelings of powerlessness. Feel that old familiar friend – the urgent need to control the world from where you are.
Don’t turn away! – when you turn away from your immediate embodied experience, separation, and therefore fear, begins. Slow down. Begin to light up the sore and forgotten places in yourself with awareness. Bring gentleness and kindness to that lost child in yourself, the one who was never seen, the one who always longed for love and understanding, who always felt ‘far away’ from life and fun. The one who would destroy a universe just to get attention. Feel the innocence there…
Perhaps, from a place of deep acceptance of yourself as you are, you will begin to find compassion for the one you previously called your ‘rival’. Perhaps you will even be able to celebrate his or her happiness and achievements. You will become part of his or her abundance rather than the judge and jury of it. You may be able to learn from your ex-enemy, or at least use them as a source of inspiration. Or you may forget about them altogether, let go of trying to know their experience, and simply walk your path! You will see that there is enough room in this universe for everyone to walk their own path, find their own happiness, dance their own dance. Including you.
Joy does not come from trying to walk another’s path, or from preventing another from walking their own path. It certainly does not come from trying to take away someone else’s happiness! Jealousy, when resisted and blindly acted upon, will hurt you and the ones around you, and will create further conflict and division. But once acknowledged, understood, embraced, and even loved, jealousy can serve to open up your heart even more, bringing you to a place of great humility, freed from that awful need to control everything and everyone around you.
Let jealousy serve as yet another ingenious invitation to Presence. Let it break your heart wide open in the here and now. Let it teach you humility and slowness. Let it remind you never to neglect yourself again. Know that you are never a victim, except in your own perception. – Jeff Foster
Today We Affirm: Here in my own yard, all is well. I stay in my own business and clean up my own vibration by choosing the thoughts that feel good when I think them. There is a Power and a Presence which guides my actions and leads my feet as I align myself with Higher Thoughts. There is no need to struggle or strive to get somewhere. I am following my joy and peace through the open doors. I am anointed with Grace to accomplish all with ease as I relax into the downstream thoughts, knowing that all is well.
1. Form is not a constant but a result. Form is the result of belief. – ACOL
2. Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it’s not others, it is your mind. ~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
3. You have more harmony points with every person on the planet than you have disharmony points, because there is much more of you that is in harmony with your Core than you realize or that most of you allow. The closer you come to being in harmony with your Source Energy, the more in harmony you are with each other. When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought. If nothing is more important to you than that you feel good, you can form a fantasy about someone who is in your life and they will begin to modify to meet your fantasy, because Law of Attraction is a very powerful thing. ~ Abraham-Hicks
4. There are two things that other people can’t and won’t live up to: YOUR VALUES AND YOUR FANTASIES Don’t fall into the illusion that anyone else is obligated to live according to what’s important to you in any way or at any time, even when they say they intend to. If they do, be grateful. BUT if they don’t, be unsurprised; they’re just being true to themselves and making decisions accordingly.” The Heart of Love by Dr John Demartini
5. From A YEAR OF MIRACLES: I AM OPEN TO THINGS BEING DIFFERENT THAN THEY WERE. Nothing needs to be as it was. The first step in creating the new is dropping the notion that what already exists is inevitable going forward . Today I am open to new possibilities, allowing the universe to move through me in creating new patterns of goodness for myself and others. I will not hold on to thoughts that bind me to the limits of my past.
1. The middle way is like being in the world but not of it. We are no longer deceived by any of it. We no longer feel threatened, defensive or fearful. We do not judge or give meaning to the seeming drama. We may appear to participate but we are not concerned about results. We smile a lot more, and our Light blesses the world. Yet, all the while, absolutely nothing disturbs our peace.
2. What’s wrong with being a people pleaser? I love treating others as I would like to be treated. But IF people pleasing is motivated by fear and/or a need for others to like and validate us, then we’re coming from the wrong place. There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, but it should be Joyful and about giving (giving and receiving being the same, ie feels the same), not a sacrifice that is about giving to getting. (note to self, if giving feels better than getting then I need to look at my motives… if I don’t like what I am getting, I must look at what I am giving, and it might not be in the same area, I could be giving “shit” to someone in my mind and then see someone giving ME “shit” later in the day… Everything I give, I give to myself)
3. Opening the Door to Love: Don’t worry about how long your relationship is going to last. Just give it your best energy and attention. Experience as much joy as you can with your partner. Learn as much as you can from the painful times. Do your best to be honest and clear with each other. Stretch your comfort zones a little. Be flexible and constructive. Be the first to yield and to bless. Give without worrying about what you are going to get back.
Don’t be full of pride, but admit your faults and mistakes. Don’t be ashamed or apologetic. Have the courage to be yourself. You will never be perfect in your ability to give or receive love. Don’t try to be. Each day, just be willing to learn something about yourself and your partner. That way, little by little, the door to love will continue to open. ~ Paul Ferrini
4. Connecting to Love: When you enter a beautiful forest, you do not say “only the birch trees are beautiful” or “the maples are better than the oaks.” You admire the beauty and diversity of all the trees in the forest. People who think their religion is better than other religions are missing the beauty of diversity. Each religion has a unique character that enables it to speak to certain people and not to others. If we don’t respect other traditions, we will weaken our own. Our narrowness and prejudice will be obvious to all who listen to us. Only by treating people of other faiths with love and acceptance will we give our tradition a good name. Indeed, only by connecting to the core teaching of Love within our tradition can we pass that teaching on to our children. A barren tree will make no fruit. A religion that does not help its followers connect to love will not prosper. ~ Paul Ferrini
1. “There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz
2. Experiencing Joy: You cannot experience Joy in Life by following or opposing the ideas and actions of other people. You experience Joy only by remaining faithful to the truth within your own heart. ~ Paul Ferrini
3. That romantic, special and exclusive one-on-one stuff that the world has taught us is love is not love at all. It’s just an attempt at ego support and defense (but it does offer valuable learning opportunities). Real love is not special or exclusive in any way. It demands nothing in return. Real love extends to, embraces and includes all without exception.
4. Just a reminder: Be not tempted to see yourself as unfairly treated. Don’t blame, judge, condemn, fear or attack. Don’t compare or compete. Don’t correct or try to fix your brother. That’s not your job. Forgive and ask for help to see the Christ in the other. Greet each other with a smile. Treat each other as you would want to be treated. Love one another. Let this be the essence of your spiritual practice, for it is only your Self that you meet and it is your Self that you would find and know.
5. Today We Affirm: I expect a day of answered prayers and open doors. I am aligned with the Divine Presence, radiating clarity, poise, peace and Power. Everything I need comes to me easily, effortlessly and in perfect timing. I enjoy working with Life to create my world each day. There is nothing too good to be true, nothing that cannot happen for me or through me. I greet each day with love and joy in my heart and Life expresses goodness through me. I look for and find the good in all people I meet today. I call it forth by my Holy Intention. Through me, Life is creating a wonderful day of answered prayers and limitless good for all.
6. This is a POWERFUL AUDIO of Byron Katie doing “The Work” with a Lovely woman on judging her friend for being “negative” I love the laughter and Joy that comes from questioning our “stressful” thoughts http://www.thework.com/audio/bestfriendnegative.mp3