C.Faith Holland

Soul Coaching

Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.24.14 March 24, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 3:49 pm
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1. Today We Affirm: I am awakening to the Great Rays infusing me with Wisdom, Guidance and Grace in all things. This is a day of joyful ease as I open to receive rather than to conquer, control or get. Instead, I allow and accept. Invisible hands reach out to guide and direct me. Opportunities present themselves in perfect timing & ways. My thoughts turn in gentle happy directions. The Universe is friendly and loving.
My world is happy and Life is good. As I align myself with Spirit, miracles light the path before me and I walk one Graceful step at a time. I forgive the past and release all grievances as I focus my attention on all the gifts of today. I am filled with the Light of the Great Rays which illumine my world and draw to me all that is for the highest good of all concerned. ~ Jacob Glass

 

2. Who has not loved and then experienced the pain of seeming to have lost that love, or of not being loved in return? Many learn to want nothing more to do with love. This is what the ego would have you learn, for if you get too close to love it would shine its’ separate little existence away. Listen not to the insanity of fear. Go forth and fearlessly extend the Love that you are. And if that separate little you is consumed in loves’ fire, then so be it.

 

3. When any two come together to dance in the Joy of sharing the Love that each already has and is, then eternity is found in the moment (this Holy Instant). It is not about making plans for a happy ever after. This eternal Holy Instant is our happy ever after.

 

4. Love of Self is important and here is a Byron Katie “share” on “I Really Should Be Thinner”

Not all you wonderful readers have had the privilege of hearing some of my beliefs about cellulite, wrinkles, aching knees, loose skin or gas. Doh! So unspiritual! So unenlightened! So superficial, ridiculous, silly, petty, childish, and stupid!

What…me? I would NEVER have a thought about such trivial occurrences as these. I would never have stressful beliefs about thinness or jiggling body parts.

It only used to run my whole life practically, starting around age 14. And occasionally these kinds of thoughts pop back by for a visit.

I needed to be thinner, smoother, less bumpy, tighter, more muscular, stronger, defined, angular. And never smell bad, either.

A wonderful inquirer reminded me the other day that many people walk around thinking that they need to be thinner, several times a day or more, and that it is very stressful.

It’s almost as if we believe it would suck if we didn’t have the thought that something needs to change. Because then, we’d be wallowing in a pile of passivity, non-motivation, and apathy. Resigned, not trying. Never getting there. And fat. Or certainly not thin enough.

Pain Makes Gain. Right? I feel pain when I look in the mirror, or I feel stuffed after a meal and nauseated, or I have a god-awful hangover…and this pain slaps me around and makes me want to wake up and do something different. That pain gives me motivation to CHANGE…..right?

Well, have you noticed how many times you’ve thought mean, nasty, ugly thoughts about yourself and your condition or situation? But no change happened?

If it WORKED to be self-critical, then it seems like it would have gotten you skinny by now, or sober, or successful, or rich.

Oh. Right.

There is another way. And it’s not “positive thinking” either. Because that would just be a fakey, rah-rah, cheerleading sort of approach which still assumes that you need to be pumped up and LOVE yourself to get somewhere. To get thin.

The greatest doorway to freedom for me has been, instead of condemning myself to long-term punishment, to look with depth at what I am really thinking repeatedly and finding out what is going on in those moments.

This is gettin’ down and dirty with the ugly, immature, stupid beliefs.

The belief “I should be thinner” can be mildly annoying or really sickeningly painful and very, very old.

Let’s look at it. First of all, can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES YES YES!! Screams from the balcony, the stadium, your family, your mirror, your grandparents, all the way from Hollywood! OMG of COURSE you should be thinner, are you kidding me?!!

Really ask again. I mean, in the big scheme of things beyond all this, can you know without a doubt that right now you should be thinner? You may still answer yes. That’s good….you thought about it for real, instead of just assuming it’s true.

You see how you react when you believe this thought: irritable, you make dieting plans, you despair of dieting plans, you try to ignore the thought, you hate yourself, you’re disgusted, you try to forget about it, you say “it’s not THAT bad”, you consider yourself superficial, you get tired just thinking about what you would have to do to get there. Starve and exert more energy.

And then…who would you be without the thought in your mind at all? Like other parts of the day when you’re not even thinking about it? Maybe you would notice that there are some other disturbing thoughts present. Some big ones that feel a little more foreboding.

You might notice that you could ask yourself a little more deeply WHY you should be thinner. I mean, what’s the problem here?

I should be thinner because then…WHY? My lover will stay with me, my spouse will never leave me, my friends will admire me, my boss and co-workers will be amazed by me, everyone will be attracted to me, my health will be superb, I won’t have “x” disease, I will feel fabulous, I will get more sex, I will have more energy, I will be more successful, I will make more money, I will be more secure, I will look stronger and younger which means people will find me appealing, I will stop having to think about this. Ever.

Phew. That’s a lot to put on thinness.

When we turn the thought around it becomes: my THINKING should be thinner….I mean really. I’ve believed that thinness meant so very much, the thinking has been thick and profuse and chaotic and fast. Yes, my thinking should slow down, relax and thin itself out.

Another turnaround is: I should NOT be thinner, I should be just the size I am. What if you allowed everything to be about your body, right now? What if you closed your eyes and just felt this body, and treated it kindly, without looking at it or caring how it turned out? Isn’t that what we all really want? Total freedom?

“I once worked with a woman in Jerusalem. Her religion was ‘I should have thin thighs’; she thought that’s what would give her what she wanted in life. She was the cutest! And she just wasn’t willing to do The Work; she couldn’t go inside for an honest answer, because she was terrified that if she answered honestly, she’d end up with fat thighs. She thought she needed fear as a motivation to exercise and eat right. It was obvious she preferred thin thighs to freedom.”~Byron Katie

When I began to realize that I don’t, in fact, actually care if I am thin or fat or round or sharp-edged…and what I really really want is the truth….then I became free to live in peace. To not grab for things when I’m not hungry (that isn’t the truth) and not force myself NOT to eat when I AM hungry (that isn’t the truth).

Simply being gentle with myself, moment to moment, at meals, with food, eating, tasting, smelling, hunger, fullness, slowing down. Not panicking or judging it as wrong. Waiting, breathing. Questioning other painful, difficult beliefs. Knowing I can “live” through any troubling or strong emotion.

I discovered what I used to believe thinness was going to bring me: love, joy, fun, pleasure, admiration, approval. Only all of these, already here. For myself. Whatever the weight.

The wonderful news is: you don’t have to be in 100% all-out full blown joy, love, pleasure and approval ALL THE TIME to be free from the burden of thinking about your weight.

All you need is a tiny drop of inquiry, willingness to drop your religion about the body and its appearance, and you will gently wake up.

That mundane, stupid, ridiculous series of beliefs about thinness that I had for years and years? They were my path to freedom.

“When they believe their thoughts, people divide reality into opposites. They think that only certain things are beautiful. But to a clear mind, everything in the world is beautiful in its own way.” ~ Byron Katie

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Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.5.14 March 5, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 5:41 pm
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1. We are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and state of mind matters, because we are so deeply interconnected with one another. ~ Ram Dass 

 

2. “To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived – this is to have succeeded.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

3. By being with yourself, the ‘I am’, by watching yourself in your daily life with alert interest, with the intention to understand rather than to judge, in full acceptance of whatever may emerge, because it is there, you encourage the deep to come to the surface and enrich your life and consciousness with its captive energies. This is the great work of awareness; it removes obstacles and releases energies by understanding the nature of life and mind. Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence. ~ NISARGADATTA

 

4. “The journey to the cross should be the last “useless journey.” Do not dwell upon it, but dismiss it as accomplished. If you can accept it as your own last useless journey, you are also free to join my resurrection. Until you do so your life is indeed wasted.” – A Course in Miracles

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Thoughts and Quotes for Today 3.3.14 March 3, 2014

1. The middle way is like being in the world but not of it. We are no longer deceived by any of it. We no longer feel threatened, defensive or fearful. We do not judge or give meaning to the seeming drama. We may appear to participate but we are not concerned about results. We smile a lot more, and our Light blesses the world. Yet, all the while, absolutely nothing disturbs our peace.

 

2. What’s wrong with being a people pleaser? I love treating others as I would like to be treated. But IF people pleasing is motivated by fear and/or a need for others to like and validate us, then we’re coming from the wrong place. There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, but it should be Joyful and about giving (giving and receiving being the same, ie feels the same), not a sacrifice that is about giving to getting. (note to self, if giving feels better than getting then I need to look at my motives… if I don’t like what I am getting, I must look at what I am giving, and it might not be in the same area, I could be giving “shit” to someone in my mind and then see someone giving ME “shit” later in the day… Everything I give, I give to myself)

 

3. Opening the Door to Love: Don’t worry about how long your relationship is going to last. Just give it your best energy and attention. Experience as much joy as you can with your partner. Learn as much as you can from the painful times. Do your best to be honest and clear with each other. Stretch your comfort zones a little. Be flexible and constructive. Be the first to yield and to bless. Give without worrying about what you are going to get back. 

Don’t be full of pride, but admit your faults and mistakes. Don’t be ashamed or apologetic. Have the courage to be yourself. You will never be perfect in your ability to give or receive love. Don’t try to be. Each day, just be willing to learn something about yourself and your partner. That way, little by little, the door to love will continue to open. ~ Paul Ferrini

 

4. Connecting to Love: When you enter a beautiful forest, you do not say “only the birch trees are beautiful” or “the maples are better than the oaks.”  You admire the beauty and diversity of all the trees in the forest. People who think their religion is better than other religions are missing the beauty of diversity. Each religion has a unique character that enables it to speak to certain people and not to others. If we don’t respect other traditions, we will weaken our own. Our narrowness and prejudice will be obvious to all who listen to us. Only by treating people of other faiths with love and acceptance will we give our tradition a good name. Indeed, only by connecting to the core teaching of Love within our tradition can we pass that teaching on to our children. A barren tree will make no fruit. A religion that does not help its followers connect to love will not prosper. ~ Paul Ferrini

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Thoughts and Quotes for Today 2.18.14 February 18, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 5:16 pm
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1. “It’s always the story of a future. If you want fear on purpose, get a plan.” ~ Byron Katie

 

2. “Be still. It takes no effort to be still; it is utterly simple. When your mind is still, you have no name, no past, no relationships, no country, no spiritual attainment, no lack of spiritual attainment. There is just the presence of beingness with itself.” ~ Gangaji 

 

3. What you love prospers:  What you deeply value has your loving attention. It is nurtured, watered, and brought into fullness. It does not happen overnight. It does not happen exactly how or when you want it to. But it does come into being when conditions are right. ~ Paul Ferrini

4. We can’t change what’s going on around us until we start changing what’s going on within us. Our thoughts/thinking!! And we can just stop thinking… we START to choose thoughts that make us feel good… what thoughts are you thinking today that makes you feel bad?? is there another thought you could be thinking??? Do you need help with your thinking?? Send me an email, I am willing to help..  

 

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Thoughts and Quotes for Today 2.4.14 February 4, 2014

1. “Knowledge is learning something new every day.  Wisdom is letting go of something every day” ~ Zen Saying

2. The Infinite me already contains everything I need to navigate through life, because I am One with Universal energy. In fact, I am Universal Energy… ~ Anita Moorjani

3. “What would happen if you moved and responded with less concern about what others will think? What if you let your actions speak for themselves? What would it be like to live your truth without excusing, defending, explaining, or justifying your thoughts or actions to others?” ~ Byron Katie

4. Love Without Conditions: When you love without conditions, you support the freedom of others to choose their own way, even when you disagree with them. You trust God’s plan for their awakening. You know that they can never make a mistake that will cut them off from God’s love or from yours. From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini

5. Relationship can be the fast track to our awakening. Our buttons get pushed and our stuff comes up. Our “stuff” is anything that is not Love, which are the blocks to the awareness of Love. And in relationship we project a lot of our “stuff” onto him or her. Lots of opportunities to look at, forgive and release our stuff – stuff that could have remained hidden for a long time otherwise.

6. If I would have someone believe that they have hurt me, I am laying a guilt trip on them that can only perpetuate karmic links of attack and counter attack. This is not the way to be free. I know that no one hurt me.  I am responsible for my experiences and my reactions – no one else.

7. Relationship works best when I recognize that it is just me doing a dance with myself. The more I give, the more I get, and the only thing lacking is what I fail to give. The more angry and upset I get, the more angry and upset the other gets. The more loving and peaceful I get the more loving and peaceful the other gets. And what I see in the other is what I see and strengthen in myself.

Be Kind even if you disagree...

 

Thoughts and Quotes for Today 1.20.14 January 20, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 5:00 pm
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1. If you’re alone in a room and you’re suffering, eventually it will dawn on you that you’re the one who’s causing it. Checkmate. ~ Bryon Katie

 

2. Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. ~ Buddha

 

3. Is our personal spiritual quest selfish? Our mind is the only mind that we can be vigilant with – the only mind we can use to choose again. And yet, there is no self that is separate from all of us. Therefore, any progress that any one of us makes towards peace and love is beneficial to all of us. In fact, our own awakening is the greatest contribution any one of us can make for the good of all, including our loved ones. Accepting the atonement for our self is the way that I save the world. Thanks Benny

 

4. Can you live with all the ups and downs of the human experience and still be conscious of, and nurtured by, the truth of who you are?  YES! Awakening is not just for the sages of the past sitting on a mountaintop. It is for you. !~ Gangaji

 

5. What I resist has a tendency to persist because I am putting energy into it and perpetuating it by focusing on it. The more successful I am at just witnessing suffering and the sufferer, without identifying with any of it, the less urgency I feel about having to resist – and the more quickly it passes. Such is the power of acceptance and surrender.

 

Hurt your feelings

 

Thoughts and Quotes for Today 1.1.14 January 1, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 3:18 pm
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1. The secret of change is to focus all of your Energy, not on fighting the old, but on Building the New! ~ Socrates

 

2. “Do you want to know what my secret is? I don’t mind what happens.” ~ Krishnamurti.

Now, that may sound like indifference which is not the purpose of forgiveness. I look forward to whatever ‘happens’ as everything brings me a gift of healing. Absolutely everything is gift wrapped for me. I may not like the wrapping or the situation or person presenting the gift, but there always is a gift in the wrapping… There is a difference between not minding and not caring. It’s not that I don’t care, but I don’t mind….

 

3. Teaching to a split mind is pretty much a bad news good news situation. The bad news is that there is no hope of US finding peace and love here. It gets worse. We are synonymous with ‘here.’ The good news is that as we awaken ‘here’ changes. It gets better. When we come to know thy Self there is no ‘here.’ There is only the Love and Peace that we have always been.

 

4. Today we Affirm: Guided by Spirit and encouraged by Love, we are writing a brand new story for a better world. Embrace the gift of each day with passion and purpose. We allow our magnificent Light to shine brightly. We hold the intention to Love our Self, one another and the Universe.

Completely Trust

 

 
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