C.Faith Holland

Soul Coaching

Thought for Today 4.17.14 April 17, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 1:06 pm
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He who wants to understand, will understand….

Here is a link for a video and WONDERFUL message from Byron Katie on Closed Heart, Closed Mind

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A Sharing on: “Why We Blame Others” Byron Katie January 30, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 3:08 pm
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A sharing on: “Why We Blame Others”

As soon as I merged on to the three lane highway, I saw it. My heart sank.
“Not now,” I thought. This couldn’t be happening.

But, yes, the red light on the dashboard told the truth. My car’s gas tank was empty and there wasn’t a gas station in sight. My next thoughts were of my husband with:

Why didn’t he fill the tank up when he drove the car last night? He knew I was going to need it today. He should have filled it up. Why does he do that (always drive it until it’s empty)? How could he do this to me?

And there I was truly in the midst of the blame game. How often have you done something like this where you instantly look for someone to blame for the situation you suddenly find yourself in?

I’ve just finished reading an excellent book called, “Loving What Is – 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life” by Byron Katie. It’s all about how we cause a lot of our own suffering and grief simply because we tell ourselves how things “should” be or what others “should” have done (he should have filled up the gas tank, my boss should appreciate all the hard work I’ve been putting in lately, my wife should support me). Katie says that events are just events. It’s when beliefs are added that something that “just is” can become much more painful.

In my case, the reality was that I needed to find a gas station. By blaming my husband, I make myself feel hurt and feel that my husband doesn’t care enough about me to make sure the gas tank is full. But, that’s just a belief I’ve added. In reality, it doesn’t mean that at all. The truth could have been as simple that my husband hadn’t even noticed how little gas was left.

It’s my interpretation which causes me the grief and suffering. It also gets in the way of handling the situation. My thinking is more caught up in blame and dealing with the pain of my thoughts and what it all means rather than simply and quickly doing what I need to do (find a gas station).

“We injure ourselves by the negative ideas we entertain. How often have you wounded yourself by getting angry, fearful, jealous, or vengeful? These are the POISONS that enter your subconscious mind, you were not born with these Negative Attitudes. – Joseph Murphy from The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

It’s important to be able to separate what is “reality” and what is caused simply by your thoughts. By letting your thoughts start to blame others and to justify to yourself why it’s not your fault, you make yourself a victim. You’ll also feel like you have no control because something was done to you.

All you need to do is to be aware that it’s only your thinking which is twisting the event. Then you’ll be able to focus on the current situation without having to deal with any added emotional pain.

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering.” – Byron Katie really interesting concept Katie points out is that just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true. You can question your thoughts as soon as you have them. For example:

Is it true that he doesn’t care about me because he didn’t put gas in the car?

Of course not. When you start to question your thoughts, you’ll quickly realize that some of them really are just silly. But, if you don’t question your thinking, then that thought becomes a truth for you whether you realize it or not.

“Often with pain and depression, there are thoughts you’ve had for so long and held so close that you don’t even know they are there. And you’ve never stopped to see if you even believe them.” – Byron Katie

going out going IN

 

Thoughts Quotes and video links for Today 12.15.13 December 15, 2013

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 2:47 pm
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1. We are the pure, timeless and unchanging Being but due to the debilitating effects of the egoic or personal identity, many people have drifted away from the natural state of being and so begin suffering from deep insecurities within themselves. As a consequence to this, so many human beings want to become ‘someone special’. So much energy goes into this. But, in truth or you may say, from a higher standpoint, no one is special because to be special requires that others have to be less special. 
Maybe there is a sense that if I am not different and special, then I will become vulnerable. But actually, to be special, to be anyone, is to be vulnerable. Paradoxically, the way to be free of psychological vulnerability and the sense of separation is to be nobody. Somehow, without the attachment and pride of personal identity, we feel and know ‘I am the same one in everyone’. The sense of ‘I’ being one with ‘others’ now seems greater and truer that the sense of ‘other’ being apart and different from ‘I’. We seem afraid of this discovery yet it is a liberation. And so so much Love arises, and real joy and compassion. ~ Mooji

 

2. Byron Katie explains her quote “Everything you thought “they were” you ARE” in this short 2 minute loving Christmas video… very powerful http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zz0AQr0Or0

 

3. To acknowledge the existence of only Love, offer solely that.

 

4. In that “other” one we have an opportunity to find our Self or lose ourselves. If we see that ourselves and the other are one in the love that connects all, inclusive of God and all of creation, then we have found our Self. If the “other” is seen as separate – to be feared and/or as having something that we need or want, then we have lost our self.

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For Today 8.3.13 An oldie by goody from BYRON KATIE August 3, 2013

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 4:28 pm
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Katie on: “How I Learned to Stop Arguing with Reality and Leave My Children’s Socks on the Floor”

Before I woke up to reality, I had a symbol for all my frustration: my children’s socks. Every morning they would be on the floor, and every morning I would think, “My children should pick up their socks.” It was my religion. You could say my world was accelerating out of control in my mind; there were socks everywhere. And I would be filled with rage and depression because I believed these socks didn’t belong on the floor even though, morning after morning, that’s where they were. I believed it was my children’s job to pick them up even though, morning after morning, they didn’t.

I use the image of children and socks, but you might find that for you, the same thoughts apply to the environment, politics or money. We think these things should be different than they are, and we suffer because we believe our thoughts. At 43, after 10 years of deep depression and despair, my real life began. ?

What I came to see was that my suffering wasn’t a result of not having control; it was a result of arguing with reality. I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered; when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.

When you question your mind for the love of truth, your life always becomes happier and kinder. Inquiry helps the suffering mind move out of its arguments with reality. It helps us move into alignment with constant change. After all, the change is happening anyway, whether we like it or not. Everything changes. But when we’re attached to our thoughts about how that change should look, we feel uncomfortable when we realize we’re not in control. Through inquiry, we enter the area where we do have control: our thinking. We question our thoughts about the ways in which the world seems to have gone crazy, for example. And we come to see that the craziness was never in the world, but in us. ?

When we understand our thinking, we understand the world, and we come to love it. In that, there’s peace.

Who would I be without the thought that the world needs improving? Happy where I am right now: the woman sitting on a chair in the sunlight. Pretty simple. The apparent craziness of the world, like everything else, is a gift we can use to set our minds free. Any stressful thought you have about the planet, for example, or about life and death, shows you where you’re stuck, where your energy is being exhausted as a result of not fully meeting life as it is, without conditions. You can’t free yourself by finding a so-called “enlightened” state outside your own mind. When you question what you believe, you eventually come to see you’re the enlightenment you’ve been seeking.

Until you can love what is–everything, including the apparent violence and craziness–you’re separate from the world, and you’ll see it as dangerous and frightening. I invite everyone to put these fearful thoughts on paper, question them, and set themselves free. When the mind is not at war with itself, there’s no separation in it. I’m 65 years old and unlimited. I’m no longer interested in what my children do with their socks.

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