C.Faith Holland

Soul Coaching

Simple Truths March 2, 2016

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 2:20 pm
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Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength. ~ Sigmund Freud

Rumi

 

Thought for Today 5.6.15 May 6, 2015

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 1:30 pm
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This might be old news or simplistic AND I Love it…
“Be your Authentic Self. Your Authentic Self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else. Give yourself permission to be your Authentic Self. Dr. Phil McGraw

Be Your Authentic Self

 

Thought for Today 4.20.15 April 20, 2015

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 7:31 am
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“I think we should be born with a warning label similar to the ones that come on cigarette packages: Caution: If you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” ~ Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection

authentic

 

Thought for Today 12.2.14 December 2, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 10:27 am
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The person who loves what is makes use of anything life happens to bring her way, because she doesn’t con or fool herself. What comes her way is always good, even though people may say otherwise, she sees clearly. There is no adversity in her life. The only adversity in her life is lived out through others’ experience, the old ones that now are only familiar to her. As she became enlightened to the way of it, others learn the way of it. There is no adversity. Someone tells her, “I’m leaving you” she feels the excitement rising within her, as she can see only the advantages in that. Someone says, “I’m joining you,” and she can see only the advantages in that. What could be a more powerful experience than silence? “He’s joining me now.” What could be a dearer experience than him joining me? He’s leaving. She loses her eyesight. No she doesn’t. She has come to see that it’s not possible. The faces are no different than the leaves on a tree. It’s all in her mind. Her mind is everything. And then surgeries come into play – wonderful surgeries that are stable and effective. She doesn’t need the eyesight, and there’s nothing she can do not to see what she is to see. The way of it is always dearer than our thoughts about it. And our thoughts about it are all that is of the way of it. She is in them idle of the dearest life, as she is working away on her computer, and her son comes to visit. That turned out to be the deadline, not what she thought it was. She loves her deadlines, they’re always on time. She, like everything else, is the beautiful simple flow of the way of it. ~ Byron Katie on: ‘She doesn’t con or fool herself’

Beautiful you ARE

 

Thought for Today 11.18.14 November 18, 2014

The Plan for Your Awakening: Everything that happens to you is part of the plan for your awakening, including those challenging events that force you to shift out of your inertia and self-limiting behavior patterns. From the depth of your soul, you call out for growth. You pray to be released from your burdens and to discover and express your gifts. From deep within your pain you call for peace. From deep within your co-dependency, you call for the courage and the freedom to be yourself. ~ Paul Ferrini

Best Part of your Life

 

Thought for Today 11.12.14 November 12, 2014

Each moment, every meeting today brings with it the potential to remember who I am/ we are in Love, in God.

Every sigh of relief sounded today by anyone in the undoing of guilt or fear , releases me along with them.

Every gentle glance of kindness reminds me of the perfect love that made all that is or could ever be.

Every expression of gratitude I see or hear fills me with the recognition that all is given all the time.

Today , I remember and appreciate I am singing a song of Love to God with all my brothers and sisters everywhere , all the time. Now. ~ Thanks Russell

world is changed

 

Passage for Today 10.28.14 Day 28 of our 30 Day Commitment to PEACE October 28, 2014

“Making peace with where you are does not mean that you LIKE where you are necessarily. Nor does it mean that you are not taking positive steps to make changes. This is more about the inner-journey than the outer one. Hating your body fat will not release you from it. Hating your debt will not pay it off. Resenting your boss will not get you a new job. Despising the disease in your body will not heal it. Criticizing your mate or children will not get them to fall in line with your plans for what a relationship “should” look like.
Making peace means the end of waging war. You seem to forget that peace is very active. Peace is not a deadness or lack of vibrational vitality. True peace brings mental clarity, sane thinking and it is an energy that opens the doors of the Divine Forces of Creativity where there was nothing but a brick wall before. [this is my favorite part]…..Making peace with where you are means fully standing in the place where you are, planting your feet there and breathing it in long enough to find your balance and to contact the Divine Center within you so that you can respond rather than react. There is a very wise Taoist saying; ” A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step”. Your Holy Guide within will orchestrate and choreograph each one of those steps forward to the degree that you are willing to slow down enough to seek Guidance and then follow the Directions as they come – even if they scare you or make no sense.” ~ Jacob Glass ~ Starve the Bully, Feed the Champion
Love and Fear
 

Thought for Today 10.22.14 Day 22 of Our 30 Day Commitment to Peace October 22, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 3:07 pm
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You ask, ‘What breaks this spell of delusion? Is it determination?’ No. The Self does not need determination. You don’t need some extra strength, courage or blessing. You don’t need anything, for you are perfect and beyond need. You are Truth itself, but presently you cannot step out of what you always thought of as your self, your constructed self-image or self-portrait. Your mind is not accepting that it is already done. It is not even done. It is neither finished nor unfinished. It just Is. ~ Mooji

re-mind of beauty

 

Thought for Today Day 3 of 30 day Commitment to Peace 10.3.14 October 3, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 1:40 pm
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Forgive them, for they know not what they do. And if you condemn them, then you know not either, for you have made real that which does not exist, and you have placed a value on that which has no value.  ~ Benny

promote what you Love

 

Thought for Today 10.2.14 Day 2 of Our 30 Day Commitment to Peace October 2, 2014

Filed under: Love — C. Faith Holland @ 2:36 pm
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Day 2 of Our 30 Day Commitment to Peace (see 10.1.14 post)

POWERFUL AWARENESS: Our suffering is NEVER caused by the person we are blaming. ~ Byron Katie

Our Addiction to Blame and Criticism 

The surprising (and common) habit that is draining the life out of your relationship — and how to break the pattern for good

The title of this document might sound a bit alarming, and with good reason.

I wanted to call to your attention to something that should never be taken lightly, because it has the power to destroy an intimate relationship.

I am talking about the insidious habit called blame. That’s right, blaming your partner (or yourself) can actually become an addiction — a habit you and your partner can get hooked on, and one that slowly drains the vital energy from your relationship.

Blame is the cocaine of relationships. It may even be more dangerous, because we often don’t know we are doing it, and we definitely don’t realize how bad it is for our bodies and souls. We think blame will “fix” whatever’s happening between us, or make our partner change… but it really creates more pain and distance.

It works even faster than cocaine — creating an instant jolt in our bodies that is “covering up” the real issues. It “feels good” in the moment, but its self-perpetuating cycle makes it impossible for intimacy and connection.

Here’s how it works:

Addictions Are Ineffective Coping Mechanisms

Addictions are distractions from what’s really going on inside you. When you engage in overeating, gambling, excessive spending, or any type of drug addiction, several things are at play:

First, you’re really escaping from something else: usually emotional pain, dissatisfaction, even boredom. Because these feelings are often difficult to address and require taking responsibility, we tend to shove them away. And the easiest way to do that is through addictive behavior.

The addiction serves as a distraction: You’re numbing out and not being present in the moment in an attempt to avoid facing the real issue. If you’re engaged in your addiction, you don’t have the time, the presence of mind, or the resources to deal with the underlying trigger.

At the same time, you get a “rush” of adrenaline every time you engage in the addiction. The stress hormone adrenaline is secreted in your body when we feel strong emotions such as anger, triggering the “flight or fight response.” Your body is fired up, and that can feel good.

The problem with adrenaline is that it makes you feel alive… but only for a short while. Whether it’s the sweetness of another slice of chocolate cake, the wishful potential of making a bet, or the physical effects of a narcotic, you’re jolting your body into feeling something — anything — different.

But once the feeling wears off, it’s back to being down again — face to face with the underlying demons. You need a fast and powerful “fix,” or the demons feel like they will eat you alive. So you engage in more addiction, creating a vicious cycle that ultimately results in more pain.

What Is Blame Addiction Covering Up in Your Relationship?

Blame takes on a very similar pattern in intimate relationships.

When you blame your partner, you temporarily take the focus off of yourself and throw it onto the other person. Instead of taking responsibility for your part in the situation, you create a distraction, and a very effective one. Blame is the ultimate cop-out.

Just like a “traditional” addiction, the need for blame escalates and starts to overtake our thinking. We can’t go an hour without a critical thought, or we look for reasons to blame whenever we can. It becomes our default go-to position.

But something else is also happening, and it’s a profound revelation.

Conflict creates a spike in adrenaline. Blame actually works faster than cocaine, because in less than a second, your body is infused from inside. When both partners engage in blame, it can serve as a substitute for whatever is lacking in the relationship — usually intimacy and connection.

Engaging in blame creates intense feelings, but not the good kind. Rather than coming together to solve a problem, you “point fingers” at each other and try to earn the position and rush of feeling of “being right.”

Your senses are all fired up — just as they are when you’re making love — but they are senses in opposition rather than harmony.

This just fuels more disconnection and conflict. Science tells us that since adrenaline wears off quickly, it creates a vicious cycle where the couple keeps escalating the conflict in order to stay in the “high.” You’re trying to replace the joyful feelings of love, connection, and intimacy — with the destructive adrenaline of fighting, frustration, and pain.

Blame becomes our drug, and until we quit it — cold turkey — we become slaves to it and our relationship will never flourish.

When We End Blame, We Begin to Thrive

When we made the decision to eliminate blame from our lives, we were amazed by the profound amounts of positive energy and vitality that replaced it.

When you stop blaming, something magical — and maybe a little scary — happens: Suddenly you have a lot more time on your hands!

Time to create the relationship you want together. Time for fun, and laughter. Time for your hobbies. Time for your kids. Time for self-care. For date nights.

Instead of focusing all your energy on “winning the argument” and “being right” and complaining about each other, you can now focus on what will make you happy and satisfied as a person and as a couple.

Where before your mind was running in circles with critical thoughts, now you have the space to create. The cycle of addiction loses its grip, and intimacy rushes in to take its place.

What couples don’t realize is that adrenaline, which drains and depletes you, is very different from the flow, or “harmonizing” hormones secreted when we are loving and feeling loved. And these hormones — unlike adrenaline — can be renewed and built on, time and again!

Our Suffering is never cause by the person we are blaming

 

 
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